I can’t help but find myself watching him, that one member that seems to never fit in anywhere. Yes, he is like the rest of us in that he has become a Nobody, but the poor young man can hardly keep pace with the rest of us when it comes to malicious intent. It isn’t his fault, I’m sure, but rather that his Somebody was brought up as what most would refer to as “good.”

Regardless, I find myself somewhat drawn to his innocence, that charming countenance of his. Such a beautiful dancer and he even has his own melodies with which to move. It is indeed difficult for me to so much as consider the others when presented with such a figure, that perfect being that he is. Although there are those who would also say that neither one of us exists at all, I’m sure that he is the closest out of all of us to living a true life again.

Time and again, I find myself at a loss with him, wanting to go back and find the right thing to say, just those elusive words that I wouldn’t otherwise have any difficulties with. And yet every time I approach him to ask, my coherence vanishes and I find myself left in the open, ever an unfavorable situation. Also, there are times when I think he knows, where he can feel me watching him. It would come as no surprise at all for him to have already learned of my personal wager, to know that he has indeed thought out my silent observation. But when he does clearly notice, I present myself to him, always with a smile, a wave of my hand, and the offer of a game of chance.

Perhaps, some time soon, I may be able to present him with a different offer. To give the lovely Nocturne my full attention with his permission would be a drastic improvement. And I do indeed hope that I find the right phrasing for such a proposition soon, for that vulnerability he leaves me with has me exposed while still in his shadow. Should I remain there until my end, may it come before his, I may be content. Should I hold that position until his demise, though, I would be quite disappointed with myself. To have him leave without knowing for sure that I was there the entire time would most certainly leave me in a maelstrom of thoughts that would consume me entirely until the end of my own time.

---+++---

His cards lay face down on the table, his eyes locked onto the figure sitting across from him. He had been meaning to tell his younger superior something for quite some time now and every time he saw the sitarist, he found it getting harder to find the right thing to say. It was odd for him to have such trouble with words, but Demyx just seemed to have that effect on him, draining the Gambler of the proper holding that he so often kept.

Inside, although he held no true emotion, Luxord found himself ever closer to the brink of breaking, moving farther away from the light that he had discovered himself needing. Had he retained his heart, he would have been agonized by his inadequacy, the way he couldn’t find the right thing. Faced with the ledge that he feared as best he could, the black memory of the emotion swelling up to swallow him, he knew it was his last chance to tell the Nocturne. If he didn’t break the news to the younger man now, he could somehow feel that all would be lost to him.

“Demyx, I…” The Gambler glanced down at his hands for a moment, scouring his thoughts for something that expressed what he wanted to say in just the right way. “I’ve wanted to tell you something for a rather long time now. I’m not sure exactly how to present it to you, though, finding myself at a loss for words every time I move to attempt to reveal it to you.”

Luxord rose from his seat, moving around the table towards his superior. It was as if he could feel the younger Nobody’s gaze following him, the obvious route he was taking. Number X wasn’t used to such intense attention being placed on him and stopped halfway, looking again at the Nocturne.

“Luxord, what’s wrong?” Demyx’ question went almost unheard as Luxord had second thoughts about what he was doing. Could he go through with what he had planned? If he did, what if Demyx pushed him away? Could he take rejection? But then the Gambler recalled that he had risked worse many times. What was just one more wager?

Number Ten finally closed the gap between them and knelt down at the Nocturne’s side. Taking one of Demyx’ hands in his own and placing his forehead against on of the other’s knees, the Gambler forced himself to say what he’d been keeping silent for so long. “Demyx, I come as close as one with no heart can to loving you. I’ve wanted you to know for weeks, months even, and I couldn’t find the right way to tell you. It has been eating at my thoughts, causing me to lose sleep, and I need you to know, without a doubt, that I could not possibly go on without you.”

Luxord felt Number Nine sliding down from his chair and looked up from the sitarist’s feet. He watched as the musician settled to his knees on the floor in front of him. Then the Nocturne’s slender arms wrapped around him, pulling him close in a caring hug. “Then stay with me, Luxord. If you can’t keep going without me, then we’ll go together.” The words were soft in his ear, Demyx’ breath as he spoke blowing across it, but they were what the Gambler had needed to hear.

Luxord embraced the younger Nobody in a firm hug of his own, burying his face in Demyx’ shoulder. He stayed there for a while, not sure of how long. When he finally pulled back, the Gambler looked at Number Nine, locking eyes with him, and gave a slight smile. “Demyx, you have my deepest thanks for this.”