So, this doesn't really have to do with anything, but I've kind of been thinking about Xaldin again lately. I know it's something that I, personally, do fairly often, but this time a friend brought him up and got me thinking about him. Feel free to simply ignore this, especially if you see Xaldin in a manner similar to my own.

How often is it that people take Xaldin and give him a personality that seems less intelligent than what he really is? He is truly a brilliant man, as his time as one of the Apprentices would indicate, and I doubt that he has quite the penchant for stabbing and drinking that so many seem to think he has. True, one doesn't learn terribly much of him from the game, but he does prove that he can think and plan things out quite well, even under pressure. And yet...instead of basing his personality off of what he does and says, so many people seem to enjoy basing it off of their interpretation of his appearance. Yes, just before the battle with him begins, he asks, "Where's the fun in this?" but couldn't he be asking it out of boredom from the belief that fighting is less interesting to him than taking the time to learn about someone and attempt to manipulate them.

I know that that's not overly positive either, but I still see Xaldin as far more restrained than most people seem to. He hides his thoughts from the world, keeping them to himself with a strict discipline, similar to that of Saïx. Along the same line of thought, consider how much work it would take to control six lances so finely all at the same time. Wouldn't that itself require a great deal of concentration? And so Xaldin, to me, becomes an incredibly deep character, where nothing outside of his discipline and intelligence are recognized for sure. There is so much to him and I find it difficult to even explain my interpretation of his character.

To me, Xaldin seems to be a sad character, with a deep pain kept inside, where no one can see it. The scars from things he has done, the ways he learned things, and even the things that were done to him that he didn’t deserve are all locked away in the dark, hidden behind a wall of perpetual loneliness and distrust. And those are, in turn, veiled by his immense discipline. This control allows him to do things such as the actions shown in the game. Yes, Xaldin grinned as he abducted Belle, but she was simply part of his plan, a continuation of how he was rousing the Beast’s ire. After what was likely a very cold and unforgiving past, perhaps that malicious grin of his is the only way he can express himself to those he cannot trust.

Despite his immense strength and discipline, the Lancer also has his moments of weakness, often when no one else is there to witness them. He goes out during the night and gazes at the moon, thinking, remembering, and comparing. He occasionally has nightmares, visions of his traumatic past that he’d rather forget. The distrust that he developed keeps him from telling even those he manages to grow close to the whole truth and he keeps the terrible pain to himself, not out of concern for the others but to keep them from leaving. Behind his brilliance, hidden beneath so many protective layers, is really a simple child, trying to find someone that will stay with him, no matter his flaws but with the misbelief that he must hide the darkest parts of himself and what he’s been through.

Regretfully, this isn’t the character in his entirety as I see him, but merely an overview, my way of trying to show others how I perceive him. It isn’t my intention to have the world interpret Xaldin and his dark character the way that I do but merely to show that there is a way to actually take the time to think through what one is provided with and come out with something that might come close to what was wanted. If you actually took the time to read this and feel that I’m wrong, I’m still more than willing to listen to a good explanation of how you happen to see Xaldin. I won’t be upset just because of disagreement over how to interpret just one character. And if you read this and do agree, it would just be nice to know that you’re there, thinking things through. Either way, comments are appreciated and I will do my best to refrain from snapping at other opinions that I feel happen to be quite far from the character.